Accepting the Past as an Asset in Recovery
By Aleah Johnson, Director of Alumni Outreach and Development
What if I were to tell you that all aspects of your past would be used as an asset? Would you believe it or would you instantly regret and want to change it?
I have a love/hate relationship with the word “acceptance.” As a stubborn addict, I am not supposed to agree with everything, right?
What is Acceptance?
Acceptance is defined as “the act of taking or receiving something offered.” Sometimes I really have to stop and take inventory of the things in my life, both personally and professionally and ask myself if I am fighting or if I am accepting.
One of the most crucial bits of advice I have learned in recovery is to accept my past as an asset. It is important to accept ourselves where we are on our journey and be able to leverage ourselves for good.
The past is a place or state of being in an earlier period of a one’s life, career, etc., that might be thought of as shameful or embarrassing. We have all done things in our past that we may not be proud of— choosing to resist or deny our past only leads to more suffering. Acceptance allows us to live in the present moment and not “future trip” or worry about the past.
Resistance is often about control; the more we try to control our lives, the more out of control they get. Acceptance allows emotional balance and gives us the ability to accept people and things exactly as they are, even when we can’t see the WHY or when we’re not getting what we want.
Finding Serenity
Acceptance is a key solution to our problems. When we are disturbed, it is because we find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of life—unacceptable. We can find no serenity until we accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at that moment.
Until we accept ourselves, our situations and our life, on life’s terms, we cannot be happy. We need not concentrate so much on what happens in the world as on what needs to be changed in ourselves and in our attitudes. (Page 417, The Big Book)
Early in my recovery, an old-timer in one of my first meetings told me, “You can make this as easy or as hard as you want, little lady, but ultimately the choice is up to you.” I fully accepted this not only as a piece of advice but also as a challenge.
Nobody is perfect and everyone has battles and struggles; this is part of this amazing journey that we call life. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. Recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. It is our job to accept all aspects, to start where we are, use what we have, and do what we can to make the best out of the life we have left.
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